


Suggestions For Faking Normalcy

by brightandshinynewstories



Category: Cinderbrush (Web Series), Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Atypical High School Drama, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Queer Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Multi, Post-Canon, Recreational Drug Use, Typical High School Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23652514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightandshinynewstories/pseuds/brightandshinynewstories
Summary: Everyone in Cinderbrush Hills knows two things: Amanda Beltman was murdered, and four teenagers got arrested after a shootout at a church. For most of them, that's where the story ends. For Aff, Cam, Sasha, and Jamie, that's where a whole new story begins.
Relationships: Aff Flowers/Sasha Murasaki/Cameron Solomon, Aff Flowers/Sasha Murasaki/Cameron Solomon/Jamie Wrenly
Comments: 25
Kudos: 74





	Suggestions For Faking Normalcy

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to narceus for betaing this fic! It would not be what it is without her help.
> 
> Edit: I'm going to be taking the time to write most of the rest of the story before posting more chapters. The fic's not dead, not in the least, but it's going to be a while before I'm ready to post more. Thank you everyone for the kudos and comments! They've been fantastic encouragement.

“Did you kill Amanda Beltman?”

Exhaustion had wrapped itself around Aff’s head in a comfortable shroud, keeping them from remembering most of the interrogation, but that question, asked hours ago by someone wearing a grey suit, had stuck in their head. Sitting on a couch next to Cameron, too tired to do anything but stare at the chaos around them, they kept coming back to that question.

Obviously, no. Of course not. They would never…

They’d just let her go off alone, they’d forgotten all about her, they’d invited her…it was their fault...they couldn’t have known...it was Suzy’s fault, it was Terrence’s fault, it was Aff’s fault...that didn’t make any sense, but it certainly felt true...

The thoughts roiled slowly in their head like poisonous fog. They’d spent a long time in a small room with no one around, and then someone in a slightly different grey suit had told them they could come out and sit in the break room, which was probably a good thing. Cameron was waiting there, slouched over with his head resting on the arm of the couch, and they’d sat next to him without saying anything.

And now here they were, the two of them. Sasha and Jamie had been rushed to the hospital ( _God, what if they don’t make it? Of course they will, don’t be ridiculous_ ), and there had been so many questions, and what the hell was supposed to happen next? They didn’t know if they actually fell asleep or if they just zoned out for a while, but some time later they jerked back into alertness when someone cleared their throat in front of them.

A lot of what got said got lost in the fog of exhaustion, but they definitely heard the words “confession,” “trespassing charges,” and “parents” in there. Cameron asked something, sounding strange and faraway through the cotton in their head. The person replied in the affirmative, and walked away.

Beside them, Cam leaned forward and put his head in his hands, palms pressed flat to his closed eyes for a moment, then sat back up straight. “My dad’s here,” he muttered. He somehow looked even more worn out than before. Aff, unsure of what else to do, gingerly put a hand on his. Cam took it, twining his fingers with theirs, then shot them an apologetic look. “My dad’s an asshole. He’s gonna be an asshole when he gets here, and I...don’t want him to be an asshole to you.”

It took a second for what he was saying to make sense to Aff’s exhausted brain. “I’m not gonna fight your dad, Cam,” they said, trying to smile. Cam’s expression turned pained, and what he meant finally sunk in. “I could, though,” they muttered, and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, before reluctantly letting go.

Cam didn’t get a chance to respond, because his dad walked in and filled the room with seething, barely contained rage.

“Cameron.” There should have been thunder and lightning to accompany that one word. It should have been sharp with accusation, or screamed in a fury, or anything other than the flat, disinterested tone it came in. “We’re going to have a talk when we get home. Come on.”

It was enough to shock Aff out of their stupor, drawing their own anger up in a choking cloud. It grated on their ears, stuck in their nose like a thistle, raised the hairs on their arms like nails on glass. They sat and listened to the man put poison into the air with each word, and watched Cameron curl in on himself without actually moving, and for a moment, just one little moment, they looked at the man paying them no attention and thought, “Could I…?”

The answer, it turned out, was “no.” Cam followed his father out of the room with an expression on his face that made Aff want to pull him back, made them want to scream and cry and let their hands grow into claws, their teeth into fangs, break out into the desert and just run, and run, and run with Cameron safe at their side...

Instead, they curled up on the scratchy couch cushions, and slept.

That had been a week, an anger management meeting, a second visit to the police station, and five unhappy, uncomfortable breakfasts ago. Aff leaned on the wall outside the kitchen, trying to will themself to walk in and get number six over with. They knew their dad was in there; they’d heard him moving around, making coffee and getting breakfast. They’d spent the past few minutes scrolling through the group chat to avoid going in, but they were running out of time if they wanted breakfast before school.

The very first message started with Cam letting Sasha and Jamie know that he and Aff had been allowed to go home from the police station. Jamie hadn’t even been awake for that one, and looking at those earlier texts just made Aff want to hit things. Most of their connection to the outside world over the past week had been through that text thread while Cam and Aff were kept at home and Jamie and Sasha recovered in the hospital. When they’d seen Cam in anger management on Friday, it hadn’t felt entirely real. 

Their hand was starting to shake the more they thought about the past week. Closing their eyes, they tried to focus on breathing and not on the sound of their dad talking to himself as he puttered around on the other side of the wall. 

Scrolling all the way down, they found the spot where they’d fallen asleep with their thumb on the keypad, leaving a long string of Ns in the text box. Deleting them bought a few more seconds, but the odds of getting the kitchen to themself before they absolutely had to leave for school were rapidly dwindling. They knocked their head against the wall a couple of times, worked up their nerve, and walked in.

Aff found their dad leaning on the counter by the sink, reading the news on his phone. A cup of coffee cooled on the counter, forgotten along with a half-eaten bowl of cereal. Aff took a couple of deep breaths, trying to plaster a smile on their face--you’d think it would get easier after the fifth time, and you’d be wrong.

“Morning!”

“Morning,” their dad replied, glancing up. He gave Aff the same slightly tense smile he’d given them every day since the arrest, and Aff tried not to feel hurt. “There’s still some cereal in the bag. Use it up before opening a new box, okay?”

“Sure thing,” Aff said.

“You remember you’ve got a shift after school?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Okay.” 

Nothing new, but five days of it was starting to be more than Aff could handle. They made themselves breakfast as quickly as possible, half-hoping their dad would leave so they could eat in relative peace. It wasn’t that Aff was avoiding him (even if they absolutely were), it was just that the last time they’d been so unsure of what to say, they’d just watched their mom scream at a man they’d never seen before in a courtroom. As they shoveled cereal into their mouth, they had the additional, helpful thought that at least this time, the awkwardness was actually their fault.

The sound of Samuel clearing his throat jolted Aff out of their thoughts. Spoon halfway to their mouth, they looked up to see him sitting down at the table, an unfamiliar expression on his face. He stared at them for a second, then dropped his gaze to the tabletop.

“Listen...kiddo,” he started, then balked. Aff slowly lowered their spoon back into the bowl, aware that they were now staring at Samuel with more intensity than needed.

The silence stretched for a brief eternity while Samuel examined the cheap wood laminate. Eventually, he sighed and met Aff’s gaze. “Before I say anything else...look, you know I love you, okay?” He worried at his lower lip for a second, visibly struggling. “I just… I don’t know what else to say. I was so relieved when you were okay--That was the scariest phone call I’ve ever gotten. They just asked me to come down to the police station, and they didn’t tell me why...I just really want to understand how this happened.”

Aff blew out a breath. They’d spent so much time dreading this conversation that they hadn’t considered what they’d actually _say_ . _Well, Dad, I got invited to a rave by the guy I had my first kiss with, which is why I lied to you about absolutely everything...and just wait until you hear what happened next_. No. Absolutely not.

“I don’t know.” Saying it felt just as pathetic as Aff had expected. They swished their spoon around the cereal bowl, making little waves in the milk. It was kind of cool, they could get a rhythm going where a wave would go almost all the way around the inside of the rim.

Samuel shifted in his seat, making Aff’s ears prick. They expected him to say something, try to continue the conversation, but the seconds ticked by in silence.

Their phone buzzed loudly against the tabletop. Still avoiding their dad’s gaze, they glanced down and confirmed that, yes, they were about to be late for school. Aff stood up, their chair squeaking against the linoleum, wondering if they could say anything that wouldn’t make the moment even worse.

“I need to go…” They trailed off awkwardly as Samuel failed to respond. Glancing sideways, feeling like a coward, they made eye contact and immediately dropped their gaze again.

“We can talk about it again after school.” It was said quietly, but it made something in Aff’s chest hurt.

“Sounds good.” Leaving their bowl in the sink, Aff grabbed their backpack on the way out the door. Once they were safely outside, they took a second to kick the back tire of their truck as hard as they could. They had no reason to be angry. They’d lied to their dad so they could go to a fucking rave with a girl who was only friends with them because they were the only one who would even talk to her…

 _Not now, not now_.

Shaking, Aff climbed into their truck, wondering if the knot of tension in their stomach was about to turn into _claws_ and _teeth_ and _fur_ , fighting the urge to bang their head against the steering wheel.

First day of school, once again. They were off to a great start.  
  


The parking lot was a mess of cars and students, and it took Aff a few slow loops before they found a spot mostly clear of both. No one was in any particular hurry; there were plenty of people hanging around their cars, talking idly or trying to finish some homework they’d put off until the last minute. Once they found a spot, Aff took a moment to try and calm down. They had a good idea of what the small town rumor mill could be like, and they weren’t entirely sure if staying home from school for almost a week would help them or hurt them. Taking a couple of deep breaths ( _just like in anger management--look dad, I’m doing it!_ ), they stepped out of their truck.

A few seconds of scanning revealed Cam and Sasha a few rows over, talking intently as they walked towards the school, Sasha with a crutch under her arm and Cam helpfully carrying her bag. Aff bounced on their heels for a second, considering whether to try and get their attention, but the two of them looked too focused on their conversation to notice. Grabbing their backpack, they locked their truck and started jogging to catch up. 

A couple of guys in varsity jackets outright glared at Aff as they passed. Not a good sign. They’d been hoping word hadn’t got out about the shootout at the church, but they’d also willingly admit that hoping that word wouldn’t get out about a _shootout_ at a _church_ was its own kind of idiocy. 

“Think there’s a body in that truck?”

Several thoughts occurred to Aff simultaneously. The first was that it wasn’t very funny. The second was that they should’ve known this shit would happen. The third was that if they kept walking they could probably pretend they hadn’t heard it at all, and oh, look at that, they were turning around and looking right at varsity jacket dumbasses #1 and #2.

The one on the left actually gave them a smile when he saw them looking, and Aff faltered. Why had they turned around? They really didn't want to get into a fight in the middle of the parking lot, but now both of these idiots knew Aff had heard them, and what the hell were they supposed to say to get them to understand that hearing that had sent a hot, nauseating streak of guilt through their stomach? 

“Nevermind,” they muttered, turning away. They could have sworn they heard snickering behind them as they started jogging again, but they weren’t about to check. Just get through today, then get through tomorrow, then get through the next day. Keep doing that and eventually everyone would forget and Aff could go back to being the weird new kid.

Cam and Sasha reached the building and turned the corner just as Aff cleared the last row of cars. They sped up again, rounding the corner after them, and crashed into someone coming the other way. Aff was bigger and stronger than most people, but the unlucky person they’d just charged into was even bigger. Aff staggered, their growing anger now awash with bewilderment.

“‘Scuse me...” they started to mutter, but at that moment their sense of smell made itself known through the soup of emotion in their head. Every nerve in their body screamed, every muscle tensed, and before they could figure out whether they wanted to punch the stranger or rip their throat out, they looked up into the bluest blue eyes they’d ever seen in their life, a few inches above a widening, sharp-toothed smile.

“ _I knew it_ ,” the stranger breathed. Aff, still getting a grip on the impulse to commit impromptu murder, barely noticed. They _did_ notice when the stranger put his hands on their shoulders and brought his face alarmingly close to theirs. They barely had time to think, _What the fuck?_ , and realize that he was now close enough for Aff to effectively disembowel before he started speaking. “Get to class, pup,” he said, still grinning. “Stay out of trouble today. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Aff inhaled, either to ask a question or start yelling, but before they could decide the stranger was gone, loping away around the corner of the school building. Aff released the breath and took another.

“What the _fuck_.”   
  


Cam had just helped Sasha stow her crutches by her seat when Aff walked through the door looking like they either wanted to punch someone or leave the building via the nearest window. They walked right past Sasha’s desk, apparently lost in whatever was happening in their head, and would have gone past Cam too until he leaned over and gently snagged the sleeve of their jacket.

“Everything okay?” He asked quietly.

Aff stared at him as if they hadn’t understood the question, then gave a slight nod. “I think so? Something pretty weird just happened outside.”

“Weird how?”

“Just--” Aff stopped abruptly as Jason Buckner walked past, pointedly not looking at either of them, and sat down at his desk next to Cam’s. “...At lunch, okay?” Aff whispered, their voice strained.

“Sure,” Cam said, trying not to make it look like he was as worried as he was. “At lunch.” Aff nodded, their expression still tense but at least slightly less feral, and Cam gave their hand a quick squeeze. They squeezed back, then reluctantly let go and continued walking to the back of the room.

Cam briefly considered trying to talk to Jason, but he’d noticed the way Jason hadn’t looked at him. He had a feeling that most of the team was going to be the same way. Terrence was a moron, but he was a popular moron, and Cam had spent the last few months shutting everyone out. Instead, he waited until Mr. Kempler got class going, and started texting under his desk with Sasha.

 **Cam** : Aff seems upset

 **Sasha** : you’re surprised? It’s our first day back

 **Sasha** : Everyone’s upset

Cam checked to make sure Mr. Kempler had his back turned before twisting around in his seat to scan the rest of the classroom. Aimee was the only one who seemed to be paying attention. Everyone else was surreptitiously using their phones under their desks, whispering back and forth, drawing in their notebooks, or asleep. Aff, with Amanda’s empty desk to their left and Jamie’s empty desk at the end of the row, looked isolated in the back row. They had torn some paper from their notebook and was in the process of turning it into confetti. When they saw him looking, they shot him a tense smile, then scooped the spent paper pieces into a pile and tore out a new sheet. Cam smiled back, trying to hide his own unease, and returned to his conversation with Sasha.

 **Cam** : you sure about that?

 **Sasha** : upset might not be the right word

 **Sasha** : angry? confused? entertained?

 **Cam** : do you know if anyone said something to Aff?

Sasha paused, then tapped her pen against Cori’s arm. A few minutes passed as the two of them tapped away at their phones. Cam stared blankly at the blackboard, completely failing to take any notes on the lesson Mr. Kempler was desperately trying to keep on track.

Sasha was probably right about the student body’s mood because that was the kind of thing Sasha was usually right about, but Cam was pretty sure that most of the people in the school didn’t really care. The football team would care that Terrence was gone--Cam was not looking forward to practice--but Amanda hadn’t had many (or any) friends before Aff. He was pretty sure that her murder was the first time she’d been talked about at all. Cam certainly hadn’t known much about her. But she’d been Aff’s friend, and now she was gone.

Cam was shaken out of his thoughts by a new message from Sasha.

 **Sasha** : there was someone no one recognizes out in the parking lot

 **Sasha** : they talked to Aff for just a second, then left

 **Cam** : that’s fucking creepy

Cam thought about the look on Aff’s face when they’d entered the classroom, and had to close his eyes and focus on ignoring the soft but insistent whispers in his head for a moment.

 **Cam** : Aff said they’d tell us at lunch

 **Sasha** : sounds good

 **Sasha** : hopefully it’s nothing too serious

 **Cam** : you think so?

 **Sasha** : of course not

Her expression softened slightly, and she typed something else into her phone. A second later, Cam heard Aff’s phone buzz. Luckily, Mr. Kempler didn’t seem to notice, and when Cam turned to check, Aff looked a bit calmer. Or, at least, they weren’t ripping up notebook paper with as much intensity.

“Please pay attention, Cameron,” Mr. Kempler sighed.

Cam faced forward just in time to catch Jason looking away. Great. He hoped it was just paranoia, but it didn’t seem likely.

Lunch couldn’t come soon enough, and when it did, Aff didn’t waste any time: “There was a--someone like me, outside in the parking lot.” They shot an uneasy glance at the Hive, who were arranging themselves and their designer lunchboxes to ward off the worst of the stares and comments Sasha, Aff, and Cam were attracting. Lexi and Cori had settled on one side of the table, Jesse on the other, and the three of them looked for all the world like they didn’t even know Aff, Cam, and Sasha even existed. Or, no, actually, that wasn’t true. They still oriented to Sasha like beautiful planets around a shining sun. It was just that now Aff actually had to look for it to see it. Sasha herself was sitting at the corner of the table between Cam and Aff, and the three of them were leaning together to talk under the low roar of conversation around them. 

“When you say ‘like you’,” Sasha asked, “Do you mean the lycanthropy?” She was the only person Aff had ever met who could make “lycanthropy” sound like liquid glass.

Aff nodded. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure? I’ve never met someone else like that before.” A shade of the searing rage they’d felt when they realized what kind of person was standing in front of them flickered in their chest. “I think that might be a good thing.”

Cameron leaned in even further and lowered his voice until Aff could feel his breath against their ear, which did a good job of getting them to stop thinking about murder. “Do you think we should tell someone? He could probably get in trouble for hanging around the school. Maybe that would scare him off.”

A memory of leaping cleanly through a shattered car window and ripping into the person inside floated up in Aff’s memory. “I don’t think he’ll care that much. If he was worried, he probably wouldn’t be here, right?”

“ _Cameron Solomon!_ ” Aff, who’d forgotten that most of the rest of the world existed, jumped, knocking Sasha’s crutches over and smacking their forehead against Cam’s. They sat back, eyes watering, in time to watch a girl they vaguely recognized as Rachel Harris shove a finger in Cam’s face. “You fucking asshole, I know it was you who knocked Evan’s teeth out.”

“--?” Cam said. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” Rachel snapped, apparently unwilling to give him the opportunity.

“ _Rachel_ ,” Sasha said. Her voice cut through the noise of the cafeteria, and Rachel went quiet despite herself. “Is this really the time?”

Rachel gave her a cool look. “I just want to know,” she said, with deliberate calm, “What the little dickhead did to get you to punch him so hard that he lost three teeth. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but he’s actually keeping his mouth shut about it this time.”

Aff turned to look at Cam in time to see his expression go from confused to angry.

“Evan was spying on...me, so yeah, I punched him,” he said.

Rachel’s eyes narrowed slightly. Something about her expression seemed off, but Aff wasn’t sure what it was. “Oh, yeah? Did you take his phone, too?”

Aff would have missed the half a second of hesitation if they hadn’t been watching for it. “Yep.”

“Well that’s funny, because he said Jamie was there too, and that _he_ took Evan’s phone.” Rachel swept her gaze over the three of them. “So, did you help Terrence kill that girl, or what?”

Aff almost jolted out of their seat. “That’s _really_ not funny.”

Rachel snorted. “Am I laughing? This one--” she pointed at Cam “--lied about the phone. So where _is_ Jamie?” 

“ _In the hospital_ ,” Aff enunciated. Rachel was starting to grate on their nerves. Every question she asked sounded like an accusation.

“Is that why you’re sitting with your ex, Cameron?”

“We made up, and also, that’s none of your fucking business,” Cameron said coldly.

Rachel, stared at each of them in turn as if hoping for more of a reaction, then shrugged. “Fair enough. Sorry my brother’s such a little shit. I don’t think he ever really learned that people don’t always react how you think they will.” She took a step away from their table. “I don’t think you’ve learned that yet, either.”

“We’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Sasha said pleasantly. She watched Rachel walk away with an expression a few degrees too cold for friendly.

“She seemed…nice,” Aff said cautiously once they were sure Rachel was out of earshot. They let out a breath, fighting the urge to either scream or flip the table. They hadn’t realized it in the moment, but they’d been gripping the handle of their fork hard enough to leave deep imprints in their hand. People at other tables were glancing over, and for the second time that day, Aff felt horribly exposed. The entire conversation couldn’t have taken more than a few minutes, but their nerves were screaming at them again.

“She can be,” Sasha said, bringing Aff back to reality. “She and Evan like finding trouble.” Her head tilted thoughtfully. “She wasn’t that surprised that he got punched, and I doubt that it would be news to anyone else if it got around. Speaking of which--” she turned to Cam “--Is this something important that happened, or can you talk about it?”

Cam glanced around at the other tables. People were still looking, but now that the show was over, they’d mostly gone back to their own lunches and conversations. “Jamie and I were hanging out at the quarry, and Evan came poking around. I punched him, Jamie...convinced him that it wasn’t worth sticking around. That’s all.”

“Do we need to do something about them?” Aff asked. They could feel themselves shaking. They hadn’t even made it halfway through the day yet.

Sasha quirked a smile at them. “Like what? They’re a pain, but even in this town, being on the school paper doesn’t mean much.” She tilted her head, eyeing Aff. “Are you doing okay?”

“ _Yeah_.” They said it way too fast, and tried to make up for it by smiling back at her and adding, “I think I’m just nervous about being back in school again?” They didn’t mean to turn it into a question, but Sasha was giving them a very piercing look.

“Uh-huh.” She turned to Cam. “And I guess you’re also fine?”

Cam lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “I’ve been worse.”

“Fantastic,” Sasha said flatly. She lowered her voice, and Aff was fairly sure they and Cam were the only ones who heard her add, “I thought you weren’t going to do that anymore.”

“I _have_ been worse, though,” Cam murmured back. In a slightly louder voice he added, “Anyway, we were talking about Aff’s new friend, right?”

“I suppose so,” she said, giving him a look that Aff interpreted as “This isn’t over.” 

“Oh, right,” Aff muttered. “He didn’t seem all that friendly. I felt like I wanted to hurt him.” 

Cam frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t like him.”

“Is it a wer--uh, an anger management thing? Or is it just that it’s this person, specifically?” 

“I have no idea. I’ve never even met another...why can’t we just say ‘werewolf’, again?”

Sasha tilted her head towards the rest of the cafeteria. “Safety first,” she said quietly. “People can be so judgemental. And you should trust your gut. If it turns out it was just a bad first impression, fine. But you don’t want to be taken by surprise if it turns out you were right.”

Aff nodded. “That makes sense, but what should I actually _do_?”

“Did he say where to meet?”

“No.”

Jesse, who Aff had completely forgotten about, let out a low whistle. “Oh, damn. That’s _creepy_. He could just show up at your house sometime.” Sasha glanced towards him, the corner of her mouth pulled up, and Jesse’s expression immediately turned contrite. “Sorry, none of my business.”

Aff, trying to shake the mental image of the stranger sitting on their living room couch out of their head, replied, “No problem.”

“We’re just going to end up talking in circles like this,” Sasha said. “We don’t even know how much of a problem this is. It might not even _be_ a problem.”

“But what if it is?” Cam asked. He was frowning again.

“Then we’ll deal with it. In the meantime, we can do some research. If Suzy could find out about supernatural cult shit through the internet, I don’t see why we can’t do the same thing.” She looked over at Cori, who instantly dropped her conversation with Lexi and pulled out her phone. “There’s going to be a lot of junk, but there are a lot of people out there, and they love talking about themselves. We’ll be able to find something.”

“Old stuff, too,” Cori added. “Forums, archived sites...it’ll be an interesting change of pace. _But_ , if you still want me looking after Instagram and Twitter, I _might_ not have enough time for both.”

Sasha considered this. “Focus on the research for now. Everybody’s going to be talking anyway, and if we have too much of an online presence, it’s just going to keep acting as a reminder for them.” Cori nodded without looking up from her phone, apparently happy with that.

The two of them typed back and forth for another minute, and Aff was able to watch on Sasha’s phone as they shared messages and links at a dizzying speed. Part of it was the strict shorthand they were using--one of the texts was just “p L Lt”--but most of the time Sasha was already typing a new message before receiving Cori’s response to the first one. Realizing that they were technically reading Sasha’s texts, Aff sat back.

“You don’t have to go to that trouble if it’s gonna keep you from doing your regular thing,” they said uneasily. This was starting to feel complicated.

“But we _want_ to,” Sasha said, smiling warmly.

Aff looked over at Cam, trying to gauge his reaction. He was still frowning, and when they caught his eye he just gave them a shrug. “She’s pretty good at this stuff,” he said. “It couldn’t hurt.”

“This definitely isn’t the first time we’ve done this kind of research,” Sasha said. (“‘ _Pretty good_ ,’” Cori muttered.) “And speaking of that, I can ask Jamie to get back in contact with their people.”

“Jamie has people?” Aff asked, then realized how ridiculous that sounded. “I mean...people who do the same stuff they do?”

“A few. I think it’s been a while since he’s talked to them, but it can’t hurt.” She turned fully to Aff and smiled gently. “It’s _not_ too much trouble,” she said quietly. Her hand found Aff’s and twined their fingers together, but before Aff could react, she’d given their hand a squeeze and let go. “If we deal with this before it becomes a problem, we’ll have a much easier time later.”

Aff stared at her, trying to decide whether they were supposed to respond or not. Fortunately, that was the moment when the bell rang, and the point ended up moot.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of nerves and boredom. It was very difficult to care about Lord of the Flies when you’d spent the past week wondering if you were going to be going to prison for the rest of your life. Aff spent most of the class drawing shapes in their notebook and trying to ignore their classmates. 

They weren’t sure if Rachel’s outburst in the cafeteria had anything to do with it, but it seemed like whatever restraint their classmates had had evaporated after lunch. Six different people managed to accidentally catch their eye during the class period, and Aff irritably wondered if they thought they weren’t getting noticed.

Eventually class ended, and Aff and Cam helped Sasha carry her things out to Jesse’s car. 

“I’ll tell Jamie you guys said hi,” Sasha assured them as Jesse maneuvered her crutches into the trunk.

Cam helped her into the passenger seat, and accepted a quick kiss once she was settled. “You should also tell him we’ll need to move his shit out of the quarry. My dad found out…” he trailed off for a second, then finished awkwardly, “We can work on that sometime soon, but we need a place to move it all to.”

“Will do. Aff?”

Aff, who’d been tucking Sasha’s backpack into the back seat, looked up to find her with a hand outstretched towards them, an expectant half-smile on her face. Aff stood up, puzzled, and Sasha took the opportunity to snag their hand, at which point it sunk in and their brain helpfully started filling up with fizz. Heart beating way too hard, they leaned down and carefully pressed their lips to hers. Sasha pressed back, gently, and then pulled away, smiling again. Aff stood back up, trying not to look like they were about to pass out after kissing their girlfriend goodbye for the first time.

They stood with Cam and watched Jesse drive out of the parking lot until Cam gave them a nudge and they started walking back towards the football stadium. Aff wondered if they should try to hold hands or something. None of them had really discussed what their new relationship was going to be like. There’d been too much going on, and they hadn’t even seen each other since they’d all been arrested and/or rushed to the hospital.

They’d just started to work up the nerve to reach for Cam’s hand when he said, “Look, I know we didn’t really talk about...this--” he gestured between them and then off in the direction of the parking lot “--So, I mean. I dunno, is there anything we need to talk about? I can’t tell if things are weird or if this is normal, or if it’s just that there’s a lot of other weird shit going on.” He gave Aff a sideways look, and started nervously running his hand through his hair.

Aff stared at him, trying to figure out how to respond. “Well...uh, I’ve totally been in tons of relationships before this,” they said as lightly as they could, “and so I am definitely an expert.”

Cam actually laughed, and stopped scrubbing at his hair. “You definitely know more than I do, then.” He gave them a one-shoulder shrug. “I guess I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with this. It happened so fast.”

“I’m comfortable with it,” Aff said firmly. They hesitated, then slipped their hand into his. “I used to think about how cool it would have been if we went to the same school,” they admitted. “Which probably would’ve actually sucked when my dad and I started moving around.”

They’d reached the sidewalk leading around to the back of the stadium, blazing white in the afternoon sun. A few other people were back here, too, all walking the same way, and Aff felt their anxiety ratchet up a few notches. Some of them waved to Cam, who nodded back. 

Cam stopped in front of the entrance to the boys’ locker room, hesitated, then pulled Aff aside into the empty girls’ entrance. “Listen, I don’t know exactly how this is going to work yet. I don’t think Sasha really knows either, she’s just better at acting like she knows what she’s doing. But, she likes you, and I like you, and I think you like us.” He let out a breath and looked Aff in the eye. “I feel like we’re doing okay so far, for what that’s worth. I’d like to keep going and see where we end up.” An odd look passed over his face, and he rocked back on his heels for a second, before leaning forward and kissing Aff lightly on the lips.

“Thanks,” they said reflexively, and felt their soul shrink in on itself.

Cam laughed out loud, and looked startled by the sound. “You’re welcome,” he said, still grinning. “I have to get going. Just...remember that I care about you? And Sasha cares about you? Okay?”

“Yeah,” Aff managed through their embarrassment. “I care about you, too.” It felt strange to say. They weren’t entirely sure if it was good or bad, but it _sounded_ right. “See you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good.”

They waited until Cam had vanished into the locker room before starting to walk back to the parking lot. Embarrassment and joy mingled strangely in their head, and for the first time in days it finally started to sink in that they had a relationship. Two relationships, if you wanted to be picky, but that wasn’t the important part. They wanted to sing. They wanted to do something crazy and loud and big. They wanted to run, they wanted to--

“Having a good day, pup?”

He must have been waiting for them, but they knew they hadn’t seen him when they’d walked up with Cameron. He was leaning against the fence behind the bleachers, apparently completely at ease, with a cigarette dangling between two fingers. For some reason, that was the part that really annoyed Aff. It was like he was trying too hard.

They took a deep breath, which turned out to be a mistake. The same scent from before flooded their senses, although this time they didn’t feel the same powerful urge to dismember him on the spot. It was almost a shame, considering that they were alone this time.

The stranger took a lazy drag from the cigarette, his expression of smug friendliness still in place. Aff could see how big he was now--he must have been at least a foot and a half taller than they were. He was older than them, too, probably in his mid twenties or so. A mess of dirty blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and those vividly blue eyes were staring right through them. He wasn’t dressed too differently from anyone else in Cinderbrush, just old jeans and a t-shirt for a band that Aff didn’t recognize. He wouldn’t have looked out of place walking into the liquor store, which was a thought that made the hairs on the back of Aff’s neck rise.

“What do you want?” they asked stiffly. “Who are you?”

Another long drag on the cigarette. “You can call me Ward. I heard around that you’re Abigail.”

“ _Aff_ ,” they snarled, and it really did come out as a snarl.

“Sure,” Ward said, apparently unbothered. “And what I’m here for is pretty simple. You and some others killed a girl in the quarry.”

The only thing that stopped Aff from immediately trying to rip his throat out and beat him with it was the fact that their legs had apparently frozen in place. “Sorry,” they croaked, “but I’m pretty sure I didn’t just hear that.”

Ward goggled at them, then let out a low whistle. “You really didn’t, did you? Huh. I thought for sure...you know your scent was on the corpse, right? It’s not the worst mistake, but you’ve gotta think of things like that.” He grinned, and tapped the side of his nose. “Werewolves have a hard time hiding from each other.”

Aff, still struggling to not wolf out right then and there, just glared at him. “You still haven’t told me what the fuck you’re doing here.”

“Just getting a hand in before anyone else.” Up came the cigarette again, the end glowing brightly as he stared at them. On someone else those blue eyes would’ve been considered pretty, but on Ward they just looked creepy. He blew out a long plume of smoke. “It’s not every day that a cult with an actual demon leading it gets taken out at the ground level. I’ll admit it, I thought I was gonna find more of an infighting situation than whatever this is, but I can still work with this.”

“‘This’?”

“Yup. Listen, pup, like it or not you’re gonna end up involved with this little community of ours.” The hand not holding the cigarette gestured broadly in the air. “There’s, what, a couple hundred werewolves in the country? Most of us know each other. Most of us are family. And then there’s a few like you.” He grinned conspiratorially, and Aff fought back another wave of potential violence. “So who gave you the bite? You were probably just a kid, sure, you probably don’t know, but--”

“Nobody,” Aff interrupted. “I wasn’t bitten.”

Ward’s amiable expression turned sour. “Don’t fucking lie to me, pup.”

Aff smiled at him through clenched teeth. “I thought werewolves had a hard time hiding from each other. I wasn’t fucking bitten.”

Ward blinked, then scoffed. “Could’ve been too young to remember,” he said, as if making a great concession, “but every other werewolf is a werewolf by blood, and you don’t _have_ any of our blood.”

Something about the way he said it made Aff’s skin crawl. They desperately wanted to either run away or charge forward, and the decision to stay rooted in one spot was starting to make their head throb. They were really starting to _hate_ Ward. They hoped against hope that he’d just leave, but the way he was leaning against the fence made them realize that wasn’t likely.

“You still haven’t said what you’re actually here for,” they said, trying to keep their voice level.

Ward dropped the cigarette onto the sidewalk and ground it under his heel. “I did. I wanted to meet the new pup before anyone else did.” His teeth flashed alarmingly white in the sunshine as he grinned. “And, you know, you’ll need someone to show you the ropes now that you’re in the game for real. Keep an eye out for me. Actually, don’t. I’ll find you.” With that, he started walking back towards the parking lot.

Aff waited until he was out of sight, then wobbled back over to the school and sank down onto the sidewalk, leaning against the brick. They wanted to kill something, tear it into little pieces or just hit it until it stopped moving. Closing their eyes, the sun turning the darkness of the inside of their eyelids blood red, they started counting down from ten. 

They didn’t even make it to seven before hearing people start to pour out of the boys’ locker room. Startled, they looked up in time to see the football team making their way into the stadium, Cam near the middle talking to one of the other players. He didn’t notice Aff sitting against the school, and once the whole team was gone, Aff quietly pulled themselves upright and started walking out towards the parking lot.

They’d worried that Ward might be out there, but the only people around were a few stragglers who’d missed their bus. Most of the cars were gone, and for the first time that day, Aff felt some relief from the relentless staring. They made it to their truck and got in, immediately turning up the air conditioning as far as it would go. Hands shaking, they drove out of the parking lot and headed home.

**Author's Note:**

> I have plans, folks, plans and schemes!


End file.
